If you live long enough, you’re going to get wronged in some way by someone in your life. It’s not going to feel good and you might carry the feeling with you for a long time. It might even feel good to dwell in the darkness and feel yourself with rage or thoughts of revenge. But any positive feelings are going to be fleeting because it’s impossible to hold onto anger in a healthy way if you don’t process it. You’ve already heard the expression “to err is human, to forgive is divine” and it’s not just a cliché that people give as passing advice. It’s important to remember that forgiving someone isn’t even about the other person. It’s more about you and making sure that you don’t end up being consumed by your own memories. Some people hold onto past events with such intensity that it can definitely impact the way they see the world and how they live their lives. There comes a point when you have to ask yourself if punishing someone else is worth your own emotional well-being.
Everything happens for a reason – it’s very difficult to handle some things in life if you don’t believe in this simple premise. While some people might think it’s wishful thinking, others firmly believe that events do in fact have a greater meaning. That means everything from small events in your life to huge ones where you might end up being incredibly hurt. It’s important to think about the event where the initial damage was done. There might be a lesson to learn in everything that happened so it’s important not be blinded by anger. Try to analyze the events and determine positive areas that came from it. It’s a lot easier to forgive someone if things turned out for the better in some way because of what they did.
Resist resentment – resentment is an incredibly powerful force that is more damaging to you and your intended target. You might think that you are hurting someone by harboring anger or hoping that harm comes to them. But in many cases, they might not even be thinking about the situation you are. They might not even be thinking about you at all. And yet here you are spending all of your time hoping that something bad happens to them. Hoping that they somehow recognize how much they have hurt you. It might all be wasted energy especially when you’re mind and thoughts are clouded with such negative energy. It can’t help but impact every facet of your life when you hate something so much. The only person you are really damaging his yourself no matter how much energy you put into getting back at them. Ironically, sometimes the best way to really teach a person a lesson is to forgive them and move on.
Healthy revenge – it’s debatable whether or not revenge should be your goal at all. But there are definitely ways of getting a healthy version of revenge that doesn’t harm you in the process. The best way is to go on with your life or make improvements to your professional and social situations. There’s nothing better than turning your negative energy into positive energy that helps to motivate you for success. Rather than hoping somebody falls down the well, if you build yourself up and live a full life it won’t matter to you whether they do or not. With a proper perspective, it’s possible to turn negative thoughts into a source of power that makes you a better person.
Talk to the person – this isn’t going to be possible or even desirable in all cases, but sometimes a lack of communication can make situations far worse. When initial energy is created it will only faster if two people don’t try to work things out. Sometimes a simple conversation or even a brief encounter is enough to make you realize that you should work on a resolution. Cutting off lines of communication completely can also be healthy in some situations, but in others it will be important to bridge the gap between perceptions and reality. You have to use your own discretion as to whether or not you are putting yourself into a toxic situation. But if not, communication can be a wonderful thing that helps you to release all of the anger you feel inside.
Talk to a counselor or friend – if talking to the person who longed you directly is not an option, it’s still important to express your feelings and share your thoughts. Keeping everything inside is not a good thing especially if you start to turn inwards in a negative way. It helps to express why you are feeling so angry and what you can do to solve it. It helps to know that other people have experienced similar events and you are definitely not alone. Simply sitting down over a cup of coffee to talk about what is troubling you can be tremendously helpful in the long run.
Remember that the most important person in the equation is you. You got to look after yourself and not worry about other people, especially if they bring negative energy into your life. It’s important to be able to forgive someone and move on, and it can be done in a way where you still feel comfortable with whatever relationship you have afterwards. In other words, you might end up as friends after the ordeal or maybe you never talk to each other again. The particular outcome is not as important as forgiving someone in the first place so that you can move on mentally in your own mind. Otherwise harboring all of this resentment is only going to damage you and it can tentatively harm your well-being and self-confidence. Negative thoughts of any kind have to be eliminated especially if you want to learn how to be more confident, and in this way letting go of the past can be incredibly beneficial.